If you want to master the skill of mindful listening and build strong, deep relationships, you should learn the difference between hearing and listening. If this happens often, then the other person feels your distance, lack of interest, and withdrawal from the conversation, which may lead to miscommunication and relationship problems. We are passively perceiving the sound of their words as a background noise, while our mind is busy focusing on something else. We can hear the other person, but we are not truly listening to them. When the mind starts to wander, our ears continue to work. There are so many things that occupy our mental space when we should pay close attention and be fully immersed in a conversation.
For example, sometimes we begin to drift off during a conversation, become overwhelmed, or think about how we want to respond. Hearing is something we can do passively, as it is an involuntary, natural process. Listening to someone requires you to be an active and mindful participant in the communication who is present and puts in some additional effort to make a conversation valuable and meaningful. In everyday communication, we usually use the terms “hearing” and “listening” interchangeably, but how many times have you heard someone say: “Do you even listen to what I’m saying” or “You’re hearing, but you aren’t listening to me”? While there are some similarities between the two terms, there are also some very important differences.
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